THE CLUTTERMONSTER (part 1 - full version published at Christmas!)

I like my room NEAT, I like my room TIDY

I put all my bits away, Monday to Friday

I pack up my stuff, my clothes and my toys

I am an EXAMPLE to girls and to boys

I fold up my trousers, NO pants on the floor

 My skateboard is NEVER left just by the door

NO WAY are the duvet, cushions and lamp

Left on the carpet, turned into a camp

Turn out the drawers to make a spacecraft?

A silly idea, you’ve got to be daft!

There is a problem, as you will see

When I tell you about it I’m SURE you’ll agree

It happens whenever I’m not in the room

It happens at night by the light of the moon

When I am at school, or climbing a tree

Whatever, it’s certainly not down to me

My room is perfection, it’s doughnuts and buns

And then, without warning she silently comes

Nobody sees her, nobody knows

That she creeps into houses when everyone goes

She slides into bedrooms when you are not there

With a cackle, a belch and a MEANINGFUL STARE

She’s a cluttery monster, a monster that’s cluttery

Warts on her face and a nose that’s all buttery

There’s a hair on her chin that is really quite big

And a nose that reminds you of pot-bellied pigs

She doesn’t like tidy, she likes a MESS

From the North to the South, from the East to the West

She’s a cluttery monster, a mistress of clutter

If you think that I’m joking you must be a NUTTER

She scatters your bedclothes all over the floor

She jams all your toys right up by the door

She throws all your socks to left and to right

Till your room is a horrible, terrible sight

All of your books will be in the wrong place

She also smears chocolate all over your face

How do I know this? I’m hearing you ask me

Well, that is the point of this FABULOUS story …

(What happens next? to be continued ...!)